Uuffi Gets the Smarts - 2
Little Jason asked, "Ethan, why does Uuffi want to go out? Why can't he stay here like we do?"

"Oh, Jason!" his older sister, Melanie, screwed up her face. "You know what he hasta go out for!"

The older chicks giggled. Uuffi wondered what was so funny. Traci spoke up, "Jason, he's gotta go poop and we can't have him poopin' on the floor in here!"

Jason looked at Uuffi seriously for a moment. "Oh. I didn't know a-an hafta to go poop, too."

Oh, so that's what they're talking about, Uuffi thought. He didn't understand why Jason didn't know this. Uuffi'd seen all sorts of birds and animals poop. And no, he certainly didn't want to poop on the classroom floor. He remembered the accident he'd had yesterday on Jozlyn's floor when he'd tried to knock that spray thing off the hook and it'd attacked him and scared the poop out of him. He looked at the human chicks and wondered why they were laughing and giggling. Melanie rolled her eyes upward. Rojor and Podo were laughing very loudly. Kaffryn and Carolie snickered softly as they covered their mouths with their hands, while Leeannlyn and Ethan grinned at each other.

Podo recovered enough from his laughter to further educate Jason, "Every animal, bird and insect poops. If it eats, it hasta poop, see? And Dad always checks the animals when they poop to make sure they aren't sick."

While Uuffi found this bit of news interesting, a chorus of disguested "eee--yuuu's" issued from the four younger girl chicks.

Ethan looked like he was having a hard time not laughing. Uuffi wondered why humans considered pooping funny. As far as he was concerned, when he had to poop, he pooped, and then went on with whatever it was he was doing.

Rojor, the gardener's chick, said, "My dad and all his gardeners use poop to fertilize the plants and so do the farmers. They spread it on the fields all winter and early spring and then they plow it under."

On either side of Uuffi, the two girl chicks squirmed like they didn't feel good. Then Uuffi noticed that the other girl chicks were also acting the same way--except for Leeannlyn, who like Ethan was trying not to laugh.

Ethan spoke, "Yes, that's right, children. Poop is what plants use for part of their food. When animals eat, and remember, some animals eat plants, their bodies digest the food and use part of it. But since their bodies can't use all of it, what comes out the other end is the waste. But nothing is really wasted. What we and the animals and birds can't use, the plants can. The Great Luciheptor, who made this planet and all of us, set all this up so everything can help everything else."

The Great Luciheptor? Uuffi remembered that Jozlyn had told him that the Great Luciheptor was the one who'd made Luciheptal World and everything on it, including humans, tabbin and a-an. Uuffi felt he was learning a lot in the classroom. All about the uses of poop. And that humans sometimes think poop is funny.

Little Jason asked, "Well then Ethan, do plants poop, too? And who eats plant poop?"

Now even Ethan and Leeannlyn laughed. Maybe plant poop is funnier than animal and bird poop?

"Jason, the way plants get rid of their waste products is through their leaves. They let extra gasses out through the pores in their leaves."

"Oh, you mean plants fart?" Jason snickered this time, but then asked, "But why doesn't the air smell bad, then?"

Leeannlyn, Podo and Rojor laughed, but the little girl chicks suddenly looked attentatively at Ethan. Choking down a laugh, the teacher replied, "Because the waste gasses the plants release don't smell at all, Jason."

Melanie asked, "But what about the flowers, Ethan? When they smell nice, is that their gasses?"

"No," Ethan choked. "Excuse me." He took out his hankie and wiped his face. "The flowers give off different gasses and oils, but we don't call them waste products."

"I guess it's only called waste when it smells bad," Carolie commented.

"Well, not always, Carolie," Ethan smiled. "There are some strange kinds of flowers that give off a really bad smell. That attracts flies, which come to the flowers and help them make their seeds. But the flowers that give off good smells attract butterflies and other kinds of insects, like bees, and those insects help them make their seeds."

Podo commented, "I guess that's why the famers plow the poop under, so it doesn't smell so bad that the flies come to it."

Uuffi didn't like flies. They could really bother him around his eyes sometimes and he had to fly off to get rid of them. He was glad to learn that farmers plowed the poop under so the flies wouldn't come.

Ethan said, "That's one reason, Podo. They also plow it under so it mixes with the soil and eventually becomes part of the soil, so the plants can use it. Fresh poop can kill plant roots. Podo and Rojor, this evening you can take Jason to ask Gruen about how gardeners use poop. I'm sure he knows more about it than I do."

Uuffi noticed the three boy chicks grinned at this prospect. Uuffi decided he wouldn't go with them. How the gardeners used poop didn't really interest him. He'd go eat some more of his favorite fruit.

Ethan stood up, "Okay, I believe it's time to move on to our lessons."
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