Speaking of WATER, there was another bathroom upstairs, but it didn't have a tub. So I felt safe going in there. The big female human liked to take showers in there. After she had shut the two glass doors, I'd jump to the toilet seat, then the sink and then up to the metal strip above the doors. It was just wide enough that I could crouch there and watch what the female was doing. It was safe, too, because the water fell down on her and not up on me. Sometimes while up there, I'd meowr and try to tell her stories.
One day while I was thus occupied telling her a story, she looked up at me and then shot some WATER at me! I squawled with fright and frustration and leaped directly down to the floor. Although I had WATER on me, thank goodness I wasn't soaked like I had gotten that time in the tub. So now there was another room in the house I refused to go into again.
As most of my readers know, cats just love to sleep on beds with their human companions. One of the human kits I lived with had the most enticing-smelling feet and shoes. I'd wait at night until he was asleep. Then I'd sneak quietly into his bedroom, jump up on the bed and worm my way under the covers clear down to his feet. I'd start by licking them a little, which caused his feet to jerk a bit. But soon that odor got the better of me and I'd start chewing on his toes.
A loud yell and an enormous kick landed me on the floor. He'd sit up and yell some more that I was a bad cat and other stuff. I'd tuck my ears back and run like a banshee from his room as he'd hop out of bed and slam his door shut. It took quite a few days before he remembered to shut the door before he crawled into bed. The other humans would suggest to him that if he washed his feet once in a while, that I wouldn't find them so munchingly attractive. Wonder if he hated water as much as I did.
His shoes were another track They were even riper than his feet. Every time he'd leave them lying around somewhere, which was frequently, I'd find them. I'd sprawl on the floor, clutching one of his odiferous shoes, and lick and chew on it while expressing my delight in the way that only a Siamese can do, so my humans said. He'd have to shake me off the shoe. Then and only then would he stick them in his closet and shut the door. Sigh. Eventually he did learn to wash his feet, and that was the end of those rhapsodic episodes.
The last track I'll tell you also concerns a bed. One day I'd been snoozing on my favorite bed, which also happened to be the human female's bed. When I woke up, none of the humans was home. But I smelled something very enticing, so I went downstairs to search out its source. It seemed to be coming from on top the refrigerator. I'd smelled this before and it always came from the top of the refrigerator. But I'd never been able to get up there, because it was a little too far from the counter top to the refrigerator top, because there was always stuff in the way and I couldn't get a good stance for a leap. But this day was different. Some of the stuff had been moved away. There was a nice pile of books stacked up right against the refrigerator. I leaped up on them, then to the top where I discovered a small packet of liver, my favorite food. Gently grasping it, I jumped down and took it upstairs where I could chew it up in comfort.
First I clawed back the spread that covered the pillow of the female's bed. Then I made a little depression in the center of the pillow and lay down to feast on the liver. I had to claw off the stuff that covered the liver first. Shoving that stuff out of the way onto the sheet and spread, I then enjoyed my repast. But after I finished, I didn't want to sleep on the pillow, because it was wet and slimy. So I went downstairs and cleaned my face and paws, then napped on the sofa.
That night after my human female went into the bedroom, she let out a sudden shriek. She could howl almost as loud as I when she was upset. I couldn't imagine what had upset her, so I went upstairs to see. I was going to sleep on her bed anyway after she got in it.
"Oh, Tucker!" she screamed. "I forgot about that liver and you found it and ate it all over my pillow and the sheets. Now I'll have to change the bed before I can go to sleep! BAD CAT!"
The big human male was sitting on his bed, laughing very hard. He said something about at least he'd be able to go to bed without having to change his sheets. For some reason that made the female even madder.
I left the room quickly and hid under the dining room table. She clumped down the stairs carrying a big load of bed stuff. After she'd finished downstairs, she went back upstairs. I could hear her moving around in the bedroom as it was right over the dining room. Then I heard the sounds that meant she'd gotten in bed. So I ran up the stairs to hop in bed with her. But I couldn't get in, because she'd closed the door! I reached a paw under the door and shook it and meowled. She yelled at me to go away. I continued to shake the door and meowl, but she never opened the door. All the other bedroom doors were closed, too. So I had to sleep on the sofa that night. Jeesh!
I hope you've enjoyed my tracks. One thing I gotta tell you, though. Tracks are really what we critters make with our feet. Humans make tracks, too. Tracks aren't really stories. Maybe when you get to Human Heaven, you'll learn the proper meanings. |
