Collected by Florence W Deems

The following quotes are based on an original version published in The Stall Street Journal, March, 2002 issue, which publication Flo found in - a public restroom!

The Stall Street Journal:
"specializing in uplifting reading
for public restrooms."

(Authors unknown, except where indicated.)

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

What do you call male ballerinas?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, what are Girl Scout Cookies made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . . . .

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Remember it was fooling around with an elevator button that helped Einstein formulate his theory of relativity.

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

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