THINGS OUR MOTHERS
TAUGHT US

Collected by
Florence W. Deems

Credit for this collection: According to Google.com, these were first posted on Nov 29, 2008, on http://www.matchdoctor.com/blog/ which apparently has been taken down. Google also lists several other websites that present these "lessons."

Things Our Mothers Taught Us

1. TO APPRECIATE A JOB: “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. RELIGION: “You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week.”

4. LOGIC: “Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. MORE LOGIC: “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. FORESIGHT: “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. IRONY: “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. OSMOSIS: “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. CONTORTIONISM: “Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. STAMINA: “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. WEATHER: “This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it!”

12. ANTICIPATION: “Just wait until we get home!”

13. RECEIVING: “You’re going to get it when you get home!”

14. MEDICAL SCIENCE: “If you don’t stop crossing you eyes they are going to stick that way.”

15. ESP: “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

16. HUMOR: “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

17. HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up”

18. GENETICS: “You’re just like your Father!”

19. ROOTS: “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

20. WISDOM: “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

21. AGRICULTURE: “Money doesn’t grow on trees!”

22. GRATEFULNESS: “Eat your supper, there are kids starving in India.”

23. JUSTICE: “One day you’ll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!”

24. HAIR STYLING: "If you want curly hair, you'd better eat the crusts on your bread!"

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