Presented by
Florence W. Deems

Jack, age 3, was watching his mom breast feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked, "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

Melanie, age 5, asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember, look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

Steven, age 3, hugged and kissed his mom goodnight, "I love you so much that when you die, I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

Brittany, age 4, had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked, "How does it know it's me?"

Susan, age 4, was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said. "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ, age 4, stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked, "How much do I cost?"

Clinton, age 5, was in his bedroom looking worried when his Mom asked what was troubling him. He replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?"

Tammy, age 4, was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

James, age 4, was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked, "What happened to the flea?"

Mary, age 3, popped in on her grandma while Grandma was dressing. Upon seeing the old lady's boobs exposed, Mary asked why did they hang down, because her mom's didn't. Grandma replied, "Oh, I guess they must have lost their 'oomph.'" Mary went running out of the room and found her mother. "Mama, guess what? Boobs have oomph in them!"

The sermon this mom won't forget:
This particular Sunday sermon . . . "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust . . . " He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year-old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

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