Collected by
Florence W. Deems

Kind of sums it up that after Monday (M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and only one nut to scatter it all over the road.

You can't be late until you show up!

Never jump in front of bullet for someone...if you have enough time to jump in front of it...then they have enough time to get the hell out of the way!

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.

It takes a lot of nails to build a crib, and only one screw to fill it.

Avoid fruits and nuts...you are what you eat. (Does this go for peanut butter and jelly, too?)

The meek will inherit the Earth…after we’re done with it! (At least they won't have to pay the depreciation costs.)

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Lead me not into temptation! Oh hell, who am I kidding…follow me, I know a shortcut!

When she says, “Whatever”, it is her way of saying “Screw You”! (Doesn't matter...he's not listening anyway!)

If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind.

If at first you do succeed…try not to look astonished.

Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point, which is this: the bartender cheated you!

If Plan A fails, you still have 25 letters left!

Due to the recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off!

I know that some people’s sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others. (I'm glad to do my part!)

The game Tetris has taught me that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear!

It only take a second to show someone how you feel about them…the police call it indecent exposure!

Never underestimate the stupidity of idiots.

Deja Poo is that feeling that you've heard that crap before.

I stopped fighting my inner demons. Now we're on the same side.

Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’ve finished! (And are we finished here?)


Back to Humor 6

Flo's Quill
Tandem Tooters

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