Signs of Service

Compiled by
Florence W. Deems **

Seen around the country:

  • Sign over a Gynecologist' s Office:
    'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'

  • In a Podiatrist's office:
    'Time wounds all heels.'

  • On a Plumber's truck:
    'We repair what your husband fixed.'

  • On another Plumber's truck:
    'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'

  • On a Church's Billboard:
    '7 days without God makes one weak.'

  • At a Tire Store:
    'Invite us to your next blowout.'

  • On an Electrician' s Truck:
    'Let us remove your shorts.'

  • In a Non-smoking Area:
    'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

  • On a Maternity Room Door:
    'Push. Push. Push.'

  • At an Optometrist' s Office:
    'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

  • On a Taxidermist' s Window:
    'We really know our stuff.'

  • On a Fence:
    'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'

  • At a Car Dealership:
    'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'

  • Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
    'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'

  • In a Vet's Waiting Room:
    'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

  • In a Restaurant Window:
    'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'

  • In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
    'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

  • And don't forget the sign at a Radiator Shop:
    'Best place in town to take a leak.'

  • On a Septic Tank Truck:
    'Yesterday's Meals on Wheels.'

  • Sign on the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck 'We are in the number 2 business.'

  • And on the back of yet a third Septic Tank Truck:
    'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises'

** These came to me via email. I do not know their origin.

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