::: ::: :::

These are attributed to the lovable cartoon character, Maxine.

::: ::: :::

Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called .... "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

It used to be only death and taxes, Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

Definition of a teenager? God's punishment ... for enjoying sex.

A female president would only be a good idea if you wanted the country run right for some reason.

I don't know whether these last two can be credited to Maxine or not,
but they're good, anyway.

Thought for the day: Be who you are and say what you feel ... because those that matter... don't mind ... and those that mind ...don't matter!

As you slide down that banister of life, you should pray that all the splinters are pointed the other way.